So I have my first specialist appointment this week. I was thinking about it today and the sorts of things that the doctor will probably ask me and I found myself starting to stress out about how I’d talk to the doctor when I’m there.
I figure he’ll ask me questions about my bowel movements and how my insides are feeling and I was thinking about these things today and kept referring to said movements as “shits”. Shit is a word I use and have always used to describe what it is I do when I sit down on the toilet. Shit is generally considered to be a pretty tame swear word, but a swear word none the less.
When I picked up my sample jars for the stool samples I had to give, the woman at the pathology office said the word “poos”, which I really don’t like. When adults talk to me about “poo” I feel like they’re patronizing me or something. Almost like they’re talking to me and somehow I’m 7 years old.
I don’t use the word poo myself either, so that’s out of the question. Poop is the same, I wouldn’t use that word. Stools sounds too formal and like I think I’m trying to be a doctor, so I really don’t know what word to use at the doctors.
Is it OK to use the word shit to describe or talk about actual shit at the doctors? If I need to talk about how my shits have been is it alright for me to just talk about how my shits have been?
I know this must seem ridiculous right? This is how my brain is working right now. I actually got a bit stressed out about the whole thing.
It’s a bit crazy.
You could call it “the fecal matter”, or turds, or craps, or just keep saying shits? Thing is, doctors have heard it all before and what you say isn’t going to change how they treat you or whether they’re going to gossip about you after. The way I see it, we’re in a country that uses language very casually so unless you’re REALLY worried about being offensive don’t over-think things too much. I think you’d have to have fairly thick skin to become a doctor anyway.
I find the best thing to do when I’m worried about what to say is to write a list of the things I definitely want to cover. And then, it’s on the page and not in your brain and you don’t have to think about it any more. Just don’t lose or forget the paper.
Good luck with it Salty.